Jun 26, 2016 By Norris Burkes
Last week, I upset some readers by suggesting a compromise over gun rights.
However, most dissatisfaction came from those who thought I was pro-abortion. Their emails reminded me of a woman who approached me after worship service one day.
“Can I make an appointment with you, pastor?”
The request wasn’t unusual, except that it came from our family babysitter, a young woman I’ll call Sandy.
“Sure,” I said. “Can you say a few words about the subject matter?” She shifted her weight onto her other foot, “I’d rather not,” she said. But there was something in the way she placed a nervous hand on her stomach that told me what I needed to know.
That afternoon, I welcomed her into my office, a place she was familiar with because she’d been attending the church for six years. She flopped herself into the folding chair and made the announcement, minus any fanfare.
“I’m pregnant,” she said.
I offered a weak smile, hoping to communicate acceptance. The woman was approaching 30 years old, near the same age my wife was for our first child. At that point, she found her tears and began telling her story of how she’d been dating a man for a short time when it happened.
While the man seemed ready to accept his responsibility, neither was ready to commit to a relationship that involved raising a child.
“This would devastate my father,” she said. I couldn’t disagree with that. Her father was a man of community standing and highly active in the church.
Yet I’d also seen enough in my hospital work to know that an unhappy grandparent can become a very proud one after a child is born. I tried to assure her that she could trust her parents with this news, that they too had seen enough in this lifetime to know how this happens.
She, too, had a good reputation or I wouldn’t have let her babysit my kids. She didn’t want the embarrassment of a child born out of wedlock.
“You don’t want to keep this child, do you?”
She shook her head. Not even for adoption?
She raised her head, knowing that my wife and I had an adopted sibling group of three.
“No,” she said, tears soaking her blouse.
“Is abortion a sin?” she asked.
Some would give a quick answer, but I couldn’t. This was the woman I trusted with my children. I knew her heart.
She continued her worry list. She wanted to go to school. She wanted to date without having a baby in tow. She couldn’t handle the perceived embarrassment to her family.
I could’ve spouted Bible verses, but so could she. Instead, we talked pros and cons. I told her that abortions are never easy on anyone, pro-life or pro-choice. I told her that the spirit of Christianity is on the side of life and redemption and that I’d known women to suffer from abortion trauma for years.
After an hour, Sandy stood to leave. As she did, I reminded her that God had room for both mom and baby on this earth. However, no matter what she decided, nothing would separate her from the love of God.
Sandy had her abortion the next week. While she eventually finished school, married and had children, her decision to still a beating heart still troubles mine. That’s because there’s no easy answer to Sandy’s sin question. There never is.
There is only the assurance is that life is full of uncertainties and that God refuses to be labeled anything but pro-person. Pro-Sandy.
– Write Norris at comment@thechaplain.net or P.O. Box 247, Elk Grove, CA 95759. Twitter @chaplain, or call 843-608-9715.
