By Norris Burkes May 18 2025
Do you ever wonder what people think about you? I do and, most especially, I wonder what my readers think of me.
My speaking events often give me multiple opportunities to discover what my readers think of me.
For instance, last week, I spoke to a Rotary group, where a few readers made some surprising conclusions about me based solely on my column mugshot.
“You have a lot more hair than your picture shows,” observed a friendly bald man.
Thank you, I guess. Honestly, I wish I had more.
A woman in earshot observed that I seemed taller than my column portrait suggests.
Really? I thought. She deduced this from a thumbnail photo?
Following her, another woman gathered her gumption to tell me, “You aren’t as fat as you seem in the newspaper.”
For the record, I’m 185 pounds, standing 6 feet, 1 inch. Add an extra half inch if all my hair is mussed by the wind.
As I was testing my microphone at another event, two men approached me. The first one inquired if I was a “good speaker, not boring.” While the other quite impatiently demanded that I start my presentation early, before our meal was finished.
Answered in the order asked, “Yes” and “No.”
But after the talks I was happy to hear the audience move out of superficial observations.
“I appreciate your humility,” said one gentleman.
However, while I signed books, another reader added, “This is like meeting a rock star.”
I’m not making any of this up. They really said these things. But I do realize that my “celeb” status never really matters to my audiences.
What mattered to people wasn’t my height, hair or eloquence. Above the trivial observations, the thing that mattered most to them was how well I listened.
I listened as a man and wife spoke of their son returning from a combat deployment in Iraq, only to lose him to a cancer likely caused by his exposure to the burn pit (the open-air combustion of trash in military deployment sites.)
One man put a lot of trust in me as he unloaded his helplessness in dealing with his wife’s third cancer treatment.
Another man told me of his failing marriage while another expressed his powerlessness to find effective treatment for a schizophrenic son.
The whole thing got me thinking about the manner in which Jesus rolled into his community speaking gigs.
He was certainly a crowd favorite wherever he spoke. On a hillside, he outlined some very coherent thoughts in his Sermon on the Mount. He was the banquet speaker for a hungry crowd of five thousand.
But where he really wowed the crowd were the moments he listened to individuals. For example, he shielded a woman about to be stoned for adultery. He befriended a polygamous woman shunned by a gossipy town. He spoke forgiveness to a follower who denied him.
You don’t have to wonder what people thought about a guy like that. Jesus heard the pain in their lives. He didn’t use his personal comparison to bring his pain into their story. He didn’t dismiss their pain or discount it. He listened and made it a part of his own pain.
Given a choice between being a better speaker or a better listener, I’m thinking I want to be more like Jesus, the listener guy. How about you?
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All of Norris’s books can be ordered on Amazon. Autographed copies can be obtained on his website www.thechaplain.netor by sending a check for $20 for each book to 10566 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602.
