The Big, Not-so-Bad, Misunderstood Wolf
I return home on Sunday from Honduras after helping the Chispa Project establish their 70th elementary school library. Together with 15 of my readers, we shelved 1,400 illustrated children’s books.
Among the titles, I found the Spanish copy of “The Three Little Pigs.” I’ve always had my suspicions about those pigs. I think they were likely “crisis actors” hired by the lame stream media to scare us.
So, while volunteers worked vigorously to paint the library, build shelves and haul book boxes into the school, I did my own in-depth research about those porkers.
First stop, YouTube, where I watched the serious work of investigative journalist Jon Scieszka reading his book, “The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs!” (Puffin Books 1996). The book comes complete with drawings from police sketch artist Lane Smith.
I’m sharing an abridged version, but Mr. Alexander T. Wolf, aka, “The Wolf,” begins with the claim, “Nobody knows the real story because nobody has ever heard my side of the story.
“The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar.”
Apparently, Al was making a birthday cake for his granny while dealing with a “terrible sneezing cold.” When he realized he was also out of sugar, he left his house searching for a neighbor who’d loan him a cup.
The first house he visited was unbelievably made of straw. When he knocked, the door fell down around him.
Wolf called out, ”Little Pig, Little Pig. Are you in?”
Al got no answer, so he turned to leave, when he was suddenly overcome with a huffing, puffing sneezing fit.
To his shock, the house fell down right in front of him. Even more surprising, he saw Little Pig face down in the straw — dead.
Wolf later told investigators, “It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying in the straw. So I ate it up.”
Next, he went to the pig’s brother’s house and found it was made of sticks. Sadly, the rude pig refused him entry, saying he was shaving his “chinny chin chin.”
Disappointed, but not vengeful, Wolf turned to leave when another sneezing fit brought this house down, too. Same deal. “Dead pig. Second helping of ham.”
These pigs seemed none too bright, but Wolf gave them another chance by knocking on the door of the oldest sibling.
When Big Bro Pig, refused to even discuss the sugar shortage, Wolf became a real blowhard. He made such a scene with his cyclonic sneezes that the cops were called.
Wolf tried telling his straightforward honest account, but news reports were jazzed up because no one cares about a sick guy borrowing sugar.
After my riveting research, I sat in stunned silence. Silence except for the screaming swarms of kids piling into the new library, celebrating with games and fun.
Listening to this book from inside Honduran borders reminded me of the many applications of every story.
To those who sleep in comfortable homes in the U.S., the boarder crisis seems like the Big Bad Wolf, huffing and puffing to get our jobs, our Medicare and our lovely way of life.
But while the Wolf in Scieszka’s story had only a bad cold, the drug route from Colombia to the U.S. smothers Hondurans, plaguing them with complex issues like corrupt government and gang violence.
Despite this, the people showed Chispa volunteers another side of what we wouldn’t expect from those threatened by the Wolf. They showered us with hospitality, open doors and kids grinning from ear to ear at the sight of their first children’s book.
Fortunately, Chispa has stocked enough copies of Scieszka’s exposé that Honduran children will read the true story of the Pigs in their own language.
While volunteers busied themselves reading, dancing and playing soccer with the children, I logged onto the Dark Web for deeper research.
Apparently even Scieszka doesn’t know this, BUT <stage whisper> the Wolf turned state’s evidence on the Goldilocks case and he’s now in the Witness Protection Program.
You’ll never hear this journalist speak of him again.
If you had fun hearing this children’s story, think how much Honduran children learn from a book like this. Share in the fun by visiting the website ChispaProject.org. Donate online or send checks made out to “Chispa Project” to 10556 Combie Rd. Suite 6643 Auburn, CA 95602.
Read more of my columns at www.thechaplain.net. Send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or leave voicemail at (843) 608-9715.